Who are you?

Assignment Instructions
Note the point count for this project. You will be graded on evidence of a thoughtful and creative approach to the questions listed below, both in your project and your blog entry. Each question is worth 100 points.

For the final project create an original tangible or virtual project that explores the concepts of identity and purpose. Try to create something that will leave a lasting impression. Address these questions:

Who are you in the eyes/perception of others?
How do you see/perceive yourself?
Why are you here? (your definition of here)
What are the implications of your identity to others? (you decide to whom the implications apply - you or others, but be specific)
How are you effected by the identity of others? (are you different around various people - why might that be)
Is identity static? (make sure to show in your project your answer to this)


Be prepared to share your project in 2 minutes or less on Dec. 12, our last day of class. Post your dialogue with the questions listed above to your blog, along with a sample from your project. Upload the URL to that blog post here. Remember, this project is worth more than the rest of the semester points combined, so it would behoove to take this one fairly seriously.

_______________________
_______________________

Who am I in the eyes of others?
There's no simple word to describe this. I can try and describe all the words and labels the people I've talked to gave me, describing me as an intelligent person, knowledgeable, witty, charming, all that fun stuff. Through my actions, they can label me as a person who speaks his mind, a man influenced by many things...
In the eyes of others who know me personally, I am the cumulative result of my own actions that has now branded me with such a label.

But how others perceive me is inherently different from how I perceive myself. I believe I am all of what others say, yet being none of it at all. I see myself as a traveler, in a world full of rules and guidelines, a world where I am becoming aware of its rigid structure and its immovable culture - and watching many people wade through it without much thought, nor any reaction to its...density.

I see myself more or less aware of this as I wander through a world like this.
A traveler in a static world.
A wanderer in a world that slowly fails to give purpose and ambition to people - to give people the ability to yearn, to create, to explore.

To believe.

So why am I here, in a world that is slowly decaying in change?
To change it.

To bring ambition back.
To create dreams.
To make people believe for a cause.
To make people aspire to become something greater.
To never give up.
To have faith.

People may call me a traditionalist - even an idealist, perhaps. My implications to others may just be that - a man who preaches ambitions and aspirations. But even if I am labeled as such, I know where I lie, and what I want to leave for other individuals. Even if it is a goal which no one will appreciate, or a goal which people will dismiss...

I do it because I believe.

But how will I leave it? Will it become just an identity in which I shroud myself in?
What will I pass on?
How would I do so?

It's like a book, the content itself being the things that the author wants to leave behind to others. Dreams, ambitions, aspiration...
So if I bring a book, devoid of content...what will I add into it?

What can I give, which I can pass on to others?

I'll bring a book.

And we'll see how it goes in class today.

What the Bleep do we know?

Based on your experience in this course (overall) and the final project in particular, discuss how some of the ideas rasied in the movie we watched today, What the Bleep Do We Know?, might impact your personal and professional development. How has exploring large topics such as what is presented in the movie and final project assignment helped you with critical thinking and creative exloration? Post your answer to your blog and submit the URL here to earn your points. This assigment is worth 50 points. That should help anyone who needs it to be able to make up some missed points from earlier in the semester. It also reflects the gravity of this topic.

........
........

The movie was rather informative, though each individual in the video had their own subjective view on what is reality, and how we define it to be. Personally speaking, I believe that the video gave us an interesting perspective on how we, as individuals with our own perspective and viewpoint, can perceive things differently from one another. Each argument brought up by the individuals within the video is a valid point, and can be defined as a certain approach to seeing their world as it is.

How it shapes our professional and creative mentality, is that it allows us to - at the very least - recognize that there is always another viewpoint, a set perspective on how we can approach a subject. One can say it is through the influence of our own biological features. Another can argue - without difficulty - that we are under the influence of quantum mechanics - where we create the world whenever we approach a said area.

Everything is valid, and can be argued as the truth. There is no "one" right view that overwhelms the other - and the video points that out rather well. One must always be humble in the idea of alternative methods, and understand that reality isn't just one 'static' image.

And only when we realize the broader picture of reality, do we come ever so closer in understanding our own placement within it - either through enlightenment, or through our own struggle to sedate the curiosity within us.

Fear Result -

Now, with all the fear presentations done and over with, the reaction of what I got for my fear - arachnophobia was more pleasant than not. It seems like a few peers amongst the group shared such distaste for those damn critters, and I got a good scream out of one or two of them. Perhaps my presentation didn't give as much kick as I thought it would; I went with a scientific approach, and in the situation the fear got toned down as a result of me describing the effects of it before presenting it to their dismay.

Sigh.

Perhaps it would have been better to ask someone to bring in a giant spider to scare the bejeezus out of people - but I know for sure that if someone did bring one, I would certainly be unable to attend class at all, as long as that atrocious thing is in it.

The double-edged sword of bringing in something I fear, I'm afraid.

As for the presentation that I responded most strongly to, I believe it was the one in which a particular fellow brought in drugs, describing his inability to cope with himself - and was then forced to use drugs to alleviate suicidal tendencies and such. That presentation got a strong response from other people too, especially when people chimed in to share their emotions - I believe one girl cried after recalling a rather traumatic experience which fell in relation to the person's presentation, leaving a stronger impact by itself.

The concept of fear

Fear. The sense of what I would like to call, 'survival instincts gone rogue'. It is a type of emotion which creates a stressful phenomenon to the human body, either compelling it to avoid encountering said fear, or to repel it convulsively with said fear. Usually, fear is a good thing - it is the body's way of telling when to avoid dangerous things from occurring, and keep the human body breathing - or surviving, however you want to coin it - in life-or-death situations. A good dose of fear ensures that the person is at the very least aware of the dangers ahead. The body sense gets heightened, the adrenaline is pumping...

Fear is basically human survival instincts. However, in some cases, fear can go rogue - a traumatizing or profound experience can leave an imprint on the person's psyche and/or body, which can cause a loss of control of the limbs or mindset, depending on how deep the experience goes. For this kind of fear, I will name it physical fear, for simplicity's sake.

Often, physical fear is developed at an early age of childhood, especially before the mind is properly developed. A bite from a dog, drowning at an early age, heights, syringe shots...such fear is most likely the result of some intense experience in which it leaves a lasting impact on the person's psyche or body itself. And when there is anything that is closely associated with their fears, the body remembers, or the mind replays the scenery in a darker tone or atmosphere...so on and so forth.

There is another kind of fear I would like to call it as mental fear. Mental fear is a bit less dramatic than the physical, but can become a physical/mental ailment to the person's body depending on their first-impression. Mental fear is performing things in which the person is uncomfortable with - and is usually seen in social events sometimes. Taken out of their comfort zone, the person is brought into an unknown situation in which they cannot dictate - like a speech, dance, etc, and they find themselves avoiding said action if their overall impression with it is negative. These can be remedied often early on - but still, it can degenerate into the more problematic physical fear if left alone for years on end.

In the end, fear is something which makes us human. It is encoded into the very aspects of our lives, and helps ensure that at the very least, we are aware of the dangers ahead and alerted enough to make a good decision.

As for the fear which I shall be presenting for the fear presentation...
...
....
......

It's a secret. But I'm pretty sure that at the very least, the audience will either be unnerved, or cringe with a repulsive attitude. Some may even find it frightening, if there are others like me. Unfortunately, since my own fear prevents me from maximizing the possibility of scaring the audience...
We shall see how it actually goes, with my own restrictions in play added to this.

Bliss

A time in my life when I created something I was really happy about...
Odd thing to ask, but nonetheless, another thing to think about.

I remember a time when I first drew something that other people said 'wow', and it made me happy. I don't recall what I drew, as it was almost in my elementary years, but it did put me in the direction to go to where I am now -- working with things that are related to art and design.

It was something that was...special, per se.

Limitations

They say layers help add depth to a character. They say layers help develop the character's persona, the attitude and the mentality in which it is bestowed upon. But if a character has too much layers, can it be more of a limitation than it is a benefit?

Yes, it can.

There was an instance - or, perhaps many of those instances - in which I found having such a limitation affects the general means to accomplish an action. For example, when I try to describe myself, I find it unable to do so, or with extreme difficulty. With so many layers that cover me, and having so many layers for so many years...

What am I, at the core but a persona that is lost? With so many layers that hide what is within me, what am I?

I do not know.



I do not know.

55 Alive!

In this scenario, 30+ extra years will be added to my life. By then, many things might happen.

A family. A place to live. Some kids. Things of the past like achievements and possibilities will be grounded away to practicality and efficiency, and perhaps worrying about paying the mortgage or taxes to the government. Things might happen in between. Some event in the world that prompts me to change. Some action in the years that prompts a recollection to be shared.

By the time of this post, I am not so sure what I can see from a paperclip. This...thing of an object, being part of a small gear which has no application over me.

30+ years of experience may have changed what I know, what I represent. I do not know - for those years have not made their impact on me yet.

Come to think of it, my views on everything might change. From a world where things are viewed once with intuitive dreams and thoughtless fantasies, to a place where everything is just another practical application to a weary world, a weary heart.

I do not know what the future brings, nor how I will change in the next 30+ years.

Perhaps I'm getting too old in this scenario. I'm rambling on too much. There's so much to say, but nothing to anchor the thoughts down. I can preach about the world with its problems of dealing with realists and moral ideals, or the weary mind from such a long and traverse lifespan that this scenario has entitled me with. I can give my own opinions on how the world was in my childhood, or how things weren't so connected back in the old days to the generations of today, in this scenario.

But even with so much to give, and so much experience to share, what do people really need in the future? A stable home? A comfortable life? Excitement? Dedication?

I do not know. I am not a man of particular importance, that much I know. My opinion may not share the same grounding that other people have, nor would they hold much weight to be listened to. That much, I know.

But if there's one thing that I do know, in this scenario of 30+ years...
I do know, that the only thing I can actually pass down to the generation of the future, is the heart. To put a heart in the cold, lifeless machination we call practicality and efficiency in a place run by money and selfish gains, to a world where such an ideal has been lost, either through such means or through the cogs of the world itself.

The heart to move things.
The heart to do what is moral.
A heart to drive things.

A heart to be human.

Odd, isn't it? To see the world and the importance of the heart through a single paperclip. To review everything there is from an aspect that seemed pointless and insignificant. I mildly wonder though, whether I can share that absurdity when I eventually reach the age of 55.

I wonder.
But we shall see.

5 again - seeing sideways

I used to do make a lot of paper origamis - but usually it's all make believe and whatnot. I would make some super complicated ship-thingy and do some pretend-fights, and when the teacher comes around I just hide it in my notebook or binder - since I can put it between the pages.

Seeing the youtube video and considering the paperclip idea, I didn't touch paperclips in that time. Never had an interest in something that is already developed.

Class Memories - Seeing Sideways

The one thing that really struck out during our "I can't see clearly now" debate, was the discussion about an anniversary for one the classmates' friend's death. While every other person had something that was interesting and unique in their own rights, we were mostly silent during that particular discussion - a drastic change to our usual, jovial behavior.

The mood immediately shifted to a more foreboding, impressionistic atmosphere, and that stood out pretty strong during that period.

I can't see clearly now... - Seeing Sideways

So, about a week ago, my friend asked me if I wanted to join him in fishing. While I was still trying to figure out about how to deal with this abnormal project I was given for this class...well, having heard of his prowess with the fishing pole, I was intrigued to see how good his skills was - and since it was at a place near the rivers, I thought it might give me some good inspiration for class as well in the meantime.

So, I went to fish with him two days ago near Caterac falls, about an hour's drive away from Indianapolis. The sun was awfully strong when I got out of the car, and the familiar scent of the riverbed quickly engulfed me when I approached the creek itself.
I took my jacket off in the meantime, the cold air that permeated through the surroundings being negated by the harsh brightness of the sunlight itself. Bees were flying, minding their own little business of collecting some stuff from the sunflowers on the trail, and the gnats were doing their pesky little job of annoying the crap out of people.

While I set up shop near one of the shades underneath some rocks, readying a crane pole to fish for...well, whatever was in the water, just then, I remembered a story I heard long ago.

And the content of what I remembered fitted perfectly for the assignment for the class. Now what did I just say about getting inspiration from the place?
The good mood that I acquired from the revelation quickly turned sour from watching my friend's godlike skills in fishing. By the time the sun settled in the horizon, I caught nothing...

And my friend, with that silly grin on his face, caught more than 40 fishes, the little orange bucket he had near him teeming full of those little bastards.

In a mental note, I told myself never to bet against him when it comes to fishing next time...

..

...

.....

Oh right. Anyways. The story I remembered when I was at the river creek? If I remember correctly, it went on like this;

"Long ago, before there was words, people conveyed their feelings through the use of stone letters. They would go and find a stone that would fit the feeling they have in their hand - a rough edge on the rock would show concern, or sharp, pointy sides would reveal a troubled feeling...a smooth stone would be happy and peaceful, so on and so forth. When they pass the stone to someone they care, they would essentially be conveying their feelings to the other using the stone itself."

The story came from a movie called Departure, which was a movie about the passing away of people and how a person comes into terms with it. Seeing as how the assignment focuses on things other than sight, I thought this would be a perfect example to bring to class, and see how the people would react to it.

N385 - Seeing Sideways

All right. Suprise, surprise...
I initially had two ideas being done at once, but urgh - logo design is a pain in the neck to work on. In the end, with less than 6 hours to finish this task and having to scrap the logo design I was working on the entire night, the only one I have right now with me is me a doodle of oriental calligraphy for the result.

Now, I'll let the audience ponder at what the hell this thing is while I try and get some shut-eye for now.





















Oh, before I forget... if the audience can't figure this one out, perhaps a 'tilted' perspective to the right is needed. After all, the class itself is to see things in a...sideways perspective, is it not?

Seeing Sideways - Egg project update

Oh yeah. Almost forgot - made a new egg design just in case the former egg idea I had didn't float against the scrutiny of the audience's criticism.
That, and it was a backup plan anyway that I should've added to the blog.

Seeing Sideways - I remember this...or do I?

It's rather interesting to see that the most simplified form of the egg project is actually the one that makes the most resounding impact to the audience itself. The one I remember that made an impact on my attention was the heart-shaped egg being discussed rather fondly by the professor, followed by the act of trying to get it to work in front of the projector. Perhaps it is because of how long it took, or the unusual process of using the projector light to eclipse the heart-shaped egg that it made a rather fond impression to me during class.

Or, because it was amusing to see the professor attempt in vain to make the egg work, failing the first couple of times before it finally succeeded with one, simple use of camera-phone and some good ol' E-mail.

But that's just me.

Seeing Sideways - Expectations? What Expectations?

All right. Course expectations, eh?

I have to admit that, after the first day of class in Seeing Sideways, it reminded me of one of the new media courses called...I believed it was called Creative concept development. Seeing as there is some remarkable similarity of that course to this one, if the two are talking about creative development, then obviously my expectations for this course, Seeing Sideways, is most likely going to be expecting this course to teach me how to be more creative, per se.

It would be awesome to know how to tackle an idea from a different perspective, how to develop something original and unique that won't be a rinse & repeat of 90 thousand other ideas...maybe even how to voice an idea and bring it to an actual possibility, instead of retaining it as an imaginary concept, if the course can teach me that.

NewM385 - Seeing Sideways - DAS EGG

So. It has come to this.

Truth be told, the assignment for the egg felt rather similar to one of the course classes I took a few years back, when I was pursuing my major in Computer Graphics during freshman year. Instead of an egg, the assignment given that time was to use squares to convey emotions, or meaning without changing the context of it. Such as, use the squares to convey the meaning of depth, teetering, an action which would personify the use of these...squares, without changing or morphing the shape of it.

Whatever it is, the squares can be enlarged, rotated, added with strokes...but nothing else.
That would be done in illustrator, a good software for design.

Recalling on the experience, and how it mind-raped my mental thoughts, I felt the egg required a more...physical pursuit this time. Perhaps to change the way it is addressed or handled, but something that would not fall in line with my major - which revolved mainly around computers. I mean, why not? Rather than doing what people would expect from my major - use the egg in a design with a touch of Adobe software (photoshop, illustrator, you name it) and be done with it - why not work on something I can actually touch and feel for once?

Shouldn't be too hard, in theory. Sadly, theories and practicality don't go hand in hand...
Which is why, while I had some ideas of applying moral, philosophical discussions into this innocent-but-soon-to-get-raped egg, I got sick instead at the most critical moment.

...
....
Curse that cold. I'm telling you - hacking your lung out and trying to work on the egg without breaking it is like trying to perform surgery while under the influence of zero gravity and an acid trip - however that it is supposed to feel.

So.
Back to what I did to the egg.

Anyways - I don't know if I can actually get the egg done in the way I wanted - pouring in some heavy dense stuff into it and comparing it about life, the weight of decisions and how it creates burden into a person's persona, etc...
...
You know what? I think I'll just draw something about the egg. Just as a contingency measure. Four years of my life in Computer Graphics, I've learned the golden rule of life - especially in a society where they expect something to be done within a time limit - is that in the event of delivering a project...

Always have a backup project, just in case.

Come to think of it, that's a good idea. That egg drawing sounds like a good idea right now.

New Media - N385, Seeing Sideways

After some time of not taking care of this blog, I think it's time to get this back up and running now. xP