The concept of fear

Fear. The sense of what I would like to call, 'survival instincts gone rogue'. It is a type of emotion which creates a stressful phenomenon to the human body, either compelling it to avoid encountering said fear, or to repel it convulsively with said fear. Usually, fear is a good thing - it is the body's way of telling when to avoid dangerous things from occurring, and keep the human body breathing - or surviving, however you want to coin it - in life-or-death situations. A good dose of fear ensures that the person is at the very least aware of the dangers ahead. The body sense gets heightened, the adrenaline is pumping...

Fear is basically human survival instincts. However, in some cases, fear can go rogue - a traumatizing or profound experience can leave an imprint on the person's psyche and/or body, which can cause a loss of control of the limbs or mindset, depending on how deep the experience goes. For this kind of fear, I will name it physical fear, for simplicity's sake.

Often, physical fear is developed at an early age of childhood, especially before the mind is properly developed. A bite from a dog, drowning at an early age, heights, syringe shots...such fear is most likely the result of some intense experience in which it leaves a lasting impact on the person's psyche or body itself. And when there is anything that is closely associated with their fears, the body remembers, or the mind replays the scenery in a darker tone or atmosphere...so on and so forth.

There is another kind of fear I would like to call it as mental fear. Mental fear is a bit less dramatic than the physical, but can become a physical/mental ailment to the person's body depending on their first-impression. Mental fear is performing things in which the person is uncomfortable with - and is usually seen in social events sometimes. Taken out of their comfort zone, the person is brought into an unknown situation in which they cannot dictate - like a speech, dance, etc, and they find themselves avoiding said action if their overall impression with it is negative. These can be remedied often early on - but still, it can degenerate into the more problematic physical fear if left alone for years on end.

In the end, fear is something which makes us human. It is encoded into the very aspects of our lives, and helps ensure that at the very least, we are aware of the dangers ahead and alerted enough to make a good decision.

As for the fear which I shall be presenting for the fear presentation...
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It's a secret. But I'm pretty sure that at the very least, the audience will either be unnerved, or cringe with a repulsive attitude. Some may even find it frightening, if there are others like me. Unfortunately, since my own fear prevents me from maximizing the possibility of scaring the audience...
We shall see how it actually goes, with my own restrictions in play added to this.

Bliss

A time in my life when I created something I was really happy about...
Odd thing to ask, but nonetheless, another thing to think about.

I remember a time when I first drew something that other people said 'wow', and it made me happy. I don't recall what I drew, as it was almost in my elementary years, but it did put me in the direction to go to where I am now -- working with things that are related to art and design.

It was something that was...special, per se.

Limitations

They say layers help add depth to a character. They say layers help develop the character's persona, the attitude and the mentality in which it is bestowed upon. But if a character has too much layers, can it be more of a limitation than it is a benefit?

Yes, it can.

There was an instance - or, perhaps many of those instances - in which I found having such a limitation affects the general means to accomplish an action. For example, when I try to describe myself, I find it unable to do so, or with extreme difficulty. With so many layers that cover me, and having so many layers for so many years...

What am I, at the core but a persona that is lost? With so many layers that hide what is within me, what am I?

I do not know.



I do not know.

55 Alive!

In this scenario, 30+ extra years will be added to my life. By then, many things might happen.

A family. A place to live. Some kids. Things of the past like achievements and possibilities will be grounded away to practicality and efficiency, and perhaps worrying about paying the mortgage or taxes to the government. Things might happen in between. Some event in the world that prompts me to change. Some action in the years that prompts a recollection to be shared.

By the time of this post, I am not so sure what I can see from a paperclip. This...thing of an object, being part of a small gear which has no application over me.

30+ years of experience may have changed what I know, what I represent. I do not know - for those years have not made their impact on me yet.

Come to think of it, my views on everything might change. From a world where things are viewed once with intuitive dreams and thoughtless fantasies, to a place where everything is just another practical application to a weary world, a weary heart.

I do not know what the future brings, nor how I will change in the next 30+ years.

Perhaps I'm getting too old in this scenario. I'm rambling on too much. There's so much to say, but nothing to anchor the thoughts down. I can preach about the world with its problems of dealing with realists and moral ideals, or the weary mind from such a long and traverse lifespan that this scenario has entitled me with. I can give my own opinions on how the world was in my childhood, or how things weren't so connected back in the old days to the generations of today, in this scenario.

But even with so much to give, and so much experience to share, what do people really need in the future? A stable home? A comfortable life? Excitement? Dedication?

I do not know. I am not a man of particular importance, that much I know. My opinion may not share the same grounding that other people have, nor would they hold much weight to be listened to. That much, I know.

But if there's one thing that I do know, in this scenario of 30+ years...
I do know, that the only thing I can actually pass down to the generation of the future, is the heart. To put a heart in the cold, lifeless machination we call practicality and efficiency in a place run by money and selfish gains, to a world where such an ideal has been lost, either through such means or through the cogs of the world itself.

The heart to move things.
The heart to do what is moral.
A heart to drive things.

A heart to be human.

Odd, isn't it? To see the world and the importance of the heart through a single paperclip. To review everything there is from an aspect that seemed pointless and insignificant. I mildly wonder though, whether I can share that absurdity when I eventually reach the age of 55.

I wonder.
But we shall see.